I was just speaking to the hubby and we touched on a topic that I am sure many couples have touched on. What separates women when being faithful? What makes one woman faithful and another not?
For instance: Your b/f or husband is overseas, incarcerated, working out of state, hustler, etc and you have a lot of free time to yourself. What makes one woman stay true to her man and the other turn into a "smut"?
I said that a woman is going to do what SHE wants to do basing her actions on characteristics. Meaning that regardless of the circumstances if she doesn't have smut tendencies, no amount of cooch thumping can make her screw the next man. It is not in her character trait.
On the other hand, if a woman has a tendency of being a cheater or "answering every time the cooch thumps" then she will do HER and screw America because that is her character. No amount of love can make her faithful.
The conclusion that hubby and I came to was to ask others their opinion. In your opinion what makes one woman faithful and another not?
My natural approach to LIFE.
May 25, 2010
May 17, 2010
Trying something new for the weight
I am still continuing my calorie shifting and certain aspects of the fat flush, but while on my hair care forum I stepped into the exercise section and then I went into the diet section and they were talking about CLA/GLA combination so I decided to give it a try along with my green tea pills that I never got around to using. I have used everything before INDIVIDUALLY with success so I figured why not use them together?
I know some people are probably thinking if you did it before how did you gain the weight back? or why am I looking for a quick fix? For anyone thinking these things let me explain my problem. I have been slim before. Maintained it for years until I got pregnant. Blew up 80 lbs and I haven't been able to get down to where I want to be again why? Because I don't continue exercising after I have obtained my goal. Why? Because I always got bored with the monotmy (sp) of what I was doing. Now that I have so much different types of exercises and equipment that isn't the case so I look forward to it now. I'll keep y'all posted. Wish me luck.
I know some people are probably thinking if you did it before how did you gain the weight back? or why am I looking for a quick fix? For anyone thinking these things let me explain my problem. I have been slim before. Maintained it for years until I got pregnant. Blew up 80 lbs and I haven't been able to get down to where I want to be again why? Because I don't continue exercising after I have obtained my goal. Why? Because I always got bored with the monotmy (sp) of what I was doing. Now that I have so much different types of exercises and equipment that isn't the case so I look forward to it now. I'll keep y'all posted. Wish me luck.
May 12, 2010
IF A MAN WANTS YOU
I saw this on blackhairmedia and decided to pull it because this holds truth.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant
to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you
any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if
he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a
quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a
relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone
complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.
Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others as well.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant
to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you
any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if
he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a
quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a
relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone
complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.
Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others as well.
May 11, 2010
Building Life Confidence
I'm reading this book by Susie Castillo (she was Miss USA before and an MTV VJ) and it is all about bringing that interior beauty out for all to see. It gives four steps based on how to be beautiful on the inside and out through being grounded, relationships (family and friends), body image and putting it all into practice.
I mention this because I got a similar book before and it was written by a man and I just couldn't get into it because he failed to write about his before fame humbling experiences as Castillo did.
He spoke about every experience he encountered since famous and in my opinion that doesn't count because you are already there and in your "zone". That might do it for some people, but for me I need to know where you came from, what you started with, and how did you make it to where you are.
Funny how I got both books from Dollar Tree, but only one made it into my daily reading and allowed me to start implementing some practices into my day. There isn't one thing that I don't like about this book all down to her vocabulary. In my opinion, it is a good read for young women (I put myself in the category seeing as though I am only 26). Also because from teens to 30, we as women tend to have bad friend choices, we pick the wrong men to date, we dress all wrong to fit into a category, we don't know how to do make-up (It has only been 2 months since I started wearing and I got the face down pact but I suck as eye shadow application), we style our hair all wrong, we don't exercise or we keep it minimal, we eat greasy food that is no good for us, and the list goes on and on and on.
For me I dissected everything one by one and I don't have bad friend choices because I keep it to a minimal. Did I when I was younger: of course. Wrong men to date? Yes but I felt I got it right this time (6 years dating) and we are now married almost 2 years. dressing all wrong? Of course. to hide my fatness I used to dress like a tomboy growing up, until I was 15 and then I embraced a more fitted clothes aspect except that I was a sneaker freak. LOL. I already explained my makeup. Styling the hair wrong? I can't say yes because I have never looked at an older pic of me (minus CHILD pics) where I wasn't content with the way my hair looked. Exercising was always minimal for me until I turned 18 and it became important and along the way I learned HOW to really do it. I haven't drank soda in years. I keep the junk to a minimal, and if I can tell it is greasy I won't eat it anyway.
I also bring this up because something happened in my family yesterday that has never occurred in the 26 years that I have been alive and ever beyond that: A cousin of mine was jumped after school. Let me describe my cousin: Sexy body for her age well developed, pretty face, and she dresses very well. Would that make other girls jealous? Of course if you have no confidence in yourself. What are we teaching our children now-a-days? That starts in the home. I believe that we have to start teaching our young girls how to boost their own confidence (you the mother need to be confident in order to teach your child confidence. You are the first teacher of female character). tearing another human being down doesn't not boost you up. It makes you even more ugly. MY mom taught me that and it doesn't matter if I can visibly say "she is ugly" I will quicker point out something exceptional about her.
Some mothers mistakenly think that they teach their kids self confidence but they are doing it in the negative. For example: "I don't know why you wasting your time arguing with her. You don't need friends anyway." Wrong. It should go more like this, "You should talk to her later, when you are more calm and had some time to think. If she is really your friend you shouldn't talk to her like that. You wouldn't want anyone talking to you like that."
I don't have a daughter nor do I have female siblings and I don't have a lot of female friends, but I was raised by an exceptional woman who taught me good policies in life that helped me build my confidence to its peak. If you have daughter(s), take a moment today and see if you speak in ways you want them to speak. See if you exude characteristics that you want them to inherit. See if you are the kind of woman you want them to become. See if your child has the potential of being a low self esteem victim. Take the time to build her up to a beautiful young woman internally and externally.
I mention this because I got a similar book before and it was written by a man and I just couldn't get into it because he failed to write about his before fame humbling experiences as Castillo did.
He spoke about every experience he encountered since famous and in my opinion that doesn't count because you are already there and in your "zone". That might do it for some people, but for me I need to know where you came from, what you started with, and how did you make it to where you are.
Funny how I got both books from Dollar Tree, but only one made it into my daily reading and allowed me to start implementing some practices into my day. There isn't one thing that I don't like about this book all down to her vocabulary. In my opinion, it is a good read for young women (I put myself in the category seeing as though I am only 26). Also because from teens to 30, we as women tend to have bad friend choices, we pick the wrong men to date, we dress all wrong to fit into a category, we don't know how to do make-up (It has only been 2 months since I started wearing and I got the face down pact but I suck as eye shadow application), we style our hair all wrong, we don't exercise or we keep it minimal, we eat greasy food that is no good for us, and the list goes on and on and on.
For me I dissected everything one by one and I don't have bad friend choices because I keep it to a minimal. Did I when I was younger: of course. Wrong men to date? Yes but I felt I got it right this time (6 years dating) and we are now married almost 2 years. dressing all wrong? Of course. to hide my fatness I used to dress like a tomboy growing up, until I was 15 and then I embraced a more fitted clothes aspect except that I was a sneaker freak. LOL. I already explained my makeup. Styling the hair wrong? I can't say yes because I have never looked at an older pic of me (minus CHILD pics) where I wasn't content with the way my hair looked. Exercising was always minimal for me until I turned 18 and it became important and along the way I learned HOW to really do it. I haven't drank soda in years. I keep the junk to a minimal, and if I can tell it is greasy I won't eat it anyway.
I also bring this up because something happened in my family yesterday that has never occurred in the 26 years that I have been alive and ever beyond that: A cousin of mine was jumped after school. Let me describe my cousin: Sexy body for her age well developed, pretty face, and she dresses very well. Would that make other girls jealous? Of course if you have no confidence in yourself. What are we teaching our children now-a-days? That starts in the home. I believe that we have to start teaching our young girls how to boost their own confidence (you the mother need to be confident in order to teach your child confidence. You are the first teacher of female character). tearing another human being down doesn't not boost you up. It makes you even more ugly. MY mom taught me that and it doesn't matter if I can visibly say "she is ugly" I will quicker point out something exceptional about her.
Some mothers mistakenly think that they teach their kids self confidence but they are doing it in the negative. For example: "I don't know why you wasting your time arguing with her. You don't need friends anyway." Wrong. It should go more like this, "You should talk to her later, when you are more calm and had some time to think. If she is really your friend you shouldn't talk to her like that. You wouldn't want anyone talking to you like that."
I don't have a daughter nor do I have female siblings and I don't have a lot of female friends, but I was raised by an exceptional woman who taught me good policies in life that helped me build my confidence to its peak. If you have daughter(s), take a moment today and see if you speak in ways you want them to speak. See if you exude characteristics that you want them to inherit. See if you are the kind of woman you want them to become. See if your child has the potential of being a low self esteem victim. Take the time to build her up to a beautiful young woman internally and externally.
May 9, 2010
Is it that serious?
I went to a wedding yesterday. I went to one last month, and I am going to one next month.I was saying to myself damn everybody going OD on this wedding stuff, huh? Which made me wonder if I was cheap or something.
I don't classify myself as cheap, so I was feeling some kind of way when my niece's sister said that. The wedding I went to in April, you can tell money was spent. The wedding I went to yesterday, same thing, just way more lavish. We shall see what happens next month. My whole point is I am married and we did it in city/town hall. Why? Because that made sense. Not saying that the spending of money for them didn't make sense BUT if priorities get put on the back burner so that you can have a lavish wedding, people need to do some thinking.
Right now, my husband and I are both wearing PLAIN gold wedding bands. Will we upgrade? Of course, but right now that is not important. WE KNOW WE ARE MARRIED. In 7-10 years, and my husband and I are still married, he do intend on having a lavish wedding. I say he because I don't see the point in a wedding. NOBODY IS EATING MY MONEY EXCEPT FOR ME AND MINE! POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. The wedding would basically be to renew our vows, but also because then we will have the money to do it AND our priorities will be taken care of.
What I'm basically asking is does it prove something when you have a lavish wedding, and a BIG rock on your finger or is it a fantasy fulfillment? Do these things prove that you are married? When did the ceremony move beyond "before God" to before the family and friends? When did the ring become move from JUST a visual reminder to others and yourself of the SPIRITUAL commitment made, to a status symbol? Either way is it that serious?
I don't classify myself as cheap, so I was feeling some kind of way when my niece's sister said that. The wedding I went to in April, you can tell money was spent. The wedding I went to yesterday, same thing, just way more lavish. We shall see what happens next month. My whole point is I am married and we did it in city/town hall. Why? Because that made sense. Not saying that the spending of money for them didn't make sense BUT if priorities get put on the back burner so that you can have a lavish wedding, people need to do some thinking.
Right now, my husband and I are both wearing PLAIN gold wedding bands. Will we upgrade? Of course, but right now that is not important. WE KNOW WE ARE MARRIED. In 7-10 years, and my husband and I are still married, he do intend on having a lavish wedding. I say he because I don't see the point in a wedding. NOBODY IS EATING MY MONEY EXCEPT FOR ME AND MINE! POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. The wedding would basically be to renew our vows, but also because then we will have the money to do it AND our priorities will be taken care of.
What I'm basically asking is does it prove something when you have a lavish wedding, and a BIG rock on your finger or is it a fantasy fulfillment? Do these things prove that you are married? When did the ceremony move beyond "before God" to before the family and friends? When did the ring become move from JUST a visual reminder to others and yourself of the SPIRITUAL commitment made, to a status symbol? Either way is it that serious?
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